No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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