): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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