pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
