did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
