It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Houston, we have a blender
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
