i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
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