Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize