im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
