I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
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Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
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At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
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