I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
