Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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