So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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