I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Mom said you looked used
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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