I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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