You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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