dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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