Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize