Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
