ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
