you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
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