She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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