her vagine was all disorganized.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
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So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
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I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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