We won't sleep together?
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
