i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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