Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
So many bounce houses so little time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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