hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
