He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize