This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
