A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
please come you make the beer taste better
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
