My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
