is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
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I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
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Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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