yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
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