smell my finger.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Randomize
