I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize