You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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