I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
