I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
