I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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