Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
