Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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