ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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