MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
