I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
