I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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