You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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