I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
