Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
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