I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Deaf chicks here I come
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You are the jesus of drinking
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?