I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony