im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.