Pappa wants mamma naked
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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