So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
