i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
