Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
