Only a mothe r could love this liver
it's like iHOP with fire
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
