Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
True strength comes from lack of pants
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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