My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize