4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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