I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
