am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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