You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
